Fishing at Spencer

Did I tell you about the time my old man went fishing with two brothers, Hughie and Cecil?

Hughie was a big-boned man, solid build with straight hair.

His brother Cecil was small, wiry and with curly hair.

They were a bit like Laurel and Hardy, if they had been brothers.

Well, off they went fishing and they caught some very big "Jewies".

The old man had caught a prizewinner.

It was so big, he was going to enter it in the Spencer weigh-in competition and he was a cert to win it.

They started to run out of bait, so Cecil suggested they go over to a sandbank close by and dig some bait.

There was a big log lying close to the sandbank so Cecil stepped on to the log to get to the sandbank. It was a very bad mistake because the log was really a huge salt-water crocodile.

They both jumped at the same time, but Cecil was a bit too late.

Coz the croc got hold of the seat of his trousers and some flesh off his backside.

Cecil howled and his brother, Hughie, quick as a flash, sat on the crocodile's snout.

"Get off, you silly so and so," said Cecil.

"He's got hold of my backside."

"Better your bum than both your legs," shouted Hughie and he sat tight.

So there they were, the croc, Hughie and Cecil, in what Mr. Keller called a catch 22 situation.

The croc wouldn't let go of Cecil and Hughie couldn't get off the croc.

Well, my old man came up with the solution, though it brought great tears to his eyes.

He picked up his prize-winning "Jewie" and said to the brothers: "I'll drag this fish in front of the croc's eye and I'll bet you quids he'll let go of Cecil."

So the old man dragged the Jewie out of the boat and pushed it in front of the croc.

The croc weighed up the pros and cons, then like greased lightning, he let go of Cecil's bum and latched onto the big Jewfish.

Then, like a hot knife through butter the old man and the two brothers were in the boat and miles away from that croc.

"That was a great Jewie," the old man sobbed.

"Never mind," said Hughie philosophically, "You'll get another one, perhaps bigger."

Keith Whitfield, Woy Woy.