Behind the subordinate clauses of Christmas

It is ridiculous, as any 10-year-old child can confirm, that only one Santa Claus can deliver the millions of presents on Christmas Eve to the myriads of chimney hearths throughout the world.

It would actually take hundreds.

Therefore there must be many subordinate Clauses.

It then follows that there must be hundreds, if not thousands, of reindeer.

And how many Rudolphs does that mean?

Children are aware that there are many substitutes, or subordinate clauses as witnessed by the thousands of Santa Clauses found on the streets in December in streets and department stores in cities throughout the Christian world in Sydney, New York and Saskatoon, begging for donations and shouting "Ho! Ho! Ho!" at those who do not comply (if you don't know what that really means look it up in your Funk and Wagnalls).

It has been established that there are thousands of elves making toys, packing them, loading sleighs, and numerous other elves and gnomes behind the scenes keeping track of the correspondence and the good and bad children and what presents they will receive, if any, and the addresses for them as well.

This is obviously a monumental logistical problem and a gigantic organisation to handle it, in fact, existing for hundreds of years.

Who was originally responsible for setting up this organisation?

Some claim it was Sears and Roebuck, but actually it existed long before this company came into being, so that has been discounted.

Then there is a Vatican Stock Exchange, which is perhaps a bit more realistic.

Others claim it was originally a group involved in greed, gluttony and avarice, but this is hard to prove.

Some even opt for an organisation called Something For Nothing.

There are even those who think it was possibly formed to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ and the meaning of giving rather than taking.

Do you think the United Nations should probe this further and form a committee to investigate the whole subjects from subordinate clauses to the Wall Street Stock Exchange?

Or would it be better to let sleeping Santa's lie, so he, they (and possibly she) be prepared for the big night Christmas Eve?

Letter, 3 Dec 2012

Roy Spence, Woy Woy